How decluttering helped me manage my Autism and ADHD
Growing up I always liked to keep my living space neat and tidy. My habits were very much true to the idea that our physical environment impacts our psychological state. If my space was cluttered then I’d often feel unsettled and unproductive. My mother could always easily tell between my good days and bad by the amount of clutter lying in my room or if I was able to put away my clothes into the laundry.
Why did I decide to declutter?
I didn’t know at the time, but I my auDHD meant my personality always had conflicting impulses. My ADHD side had lots of different interests and always loved indulging in new experiences. My autistic side is easily overwhelmed and often came in direct conflict with the new things I acquired from those experiences, and became prone to shutting down with more stimuli present.
Being unable to keep things tidy usually made bad days spiral into worse days. This would become more difficult as I grew up and accumulated more things, and eventually I found myself constantly overwhelmed. I didn’t really want to get rid of my things at first, but something told me I really really needed to change my physical space. I went with my guts.
What benefits did decluttering provide?
Decluttering provided two major benefits for me.
Firstly, by physically removing the things I no longer needed, I reduced the external sensory stimuli present in my environment. This allowed me to be more in-tune with my inner experiences, and it became easier to reach a state of emotional regulation, be present, and focus.
Secondly, by reducing the number of things I owned, organizing them became less difficult. After it became easier to access them, it also became easier to remember where everything was.
Both of those improvements made a huge difference in my life. Daily tasks like getting dressed which used to involve a lot of decision making and rumination became streamlined. Keeping my physical space clean also became a much easier task. Now I simply return everything to its own rightful place without having to think about where to put it.
Even though I wasn’t officially diagnosed or had any idea that I was Autistic, decluttering and transforming my living space provided me with a form of accommodation that I needed.
How did I declutter?
Everyone’s process will be a little bit different. At the time Marie Kondo’s book had just been published in Canada and I followed her process of doing a big decluttering in one go.
Of course the reality is that not everyone has the time or energy to follow through with this process, so I have some ADHD and Autistic friendly decluttering tips below:
Decluttering tips
Start from somewhere that doesn’t feel intimidating like your sock drawer, or somewhere in your home you know has things you’ve been meaning to let go of. This can give you a sense of achievement and a confidence to keep going.
The decluttering process needs space for sorting through items. Make some space before you start.
If you struggle to let go of an item, ask yourself what kind of emotional experiences you would like to have with it, especially if the item was something given to you. Feeling obligated to hold onto an item can lead to a sense of resentment, but the item is separate from the relationship. To let go, think of other ways to honour your relationship with that person.
When in doubt, ask yourself if the item you’re stuck on resonate with your core values.
Give yourself permission to feel bad about letting something go, but also use this process as a chance to learn about yourself. What makes you choose to let go of something, and what makes you choose to hold on? What did you learn about your shopping habits? If you bought this object to help you solve a problem, did it achieve its intended purpose? After asking yourself those questions, thank the item for fulfilling its purpose of teaching you about yourself.
Letting go of material items can also be emotionally difficult. Many of the items I chose to let go of were impulsively acquired to give myself something I didn’t have during my childhood. I had to face the reality that I didn’t have the time or energy to engage in the hobbies I wanted as a child in adulthood. The process felt like grief, but this changed after I realized I was already happy with everything I was already doing. With all the distractions gone, I had more energy to focus on the present.
Final words
Looking back I’m glad I took the plunge. I didn’t relapse since my big declutter. Instead I gradually pared down my belongings to only the essentials, and I became more intentional with new purchases.
Those days I live pretty minimally and it’s relatively effortless to keep my living spaces neat. All my reminders are visible without being overstimulating and all my creative projects and self-care tools are in reach. Even if I encounter those bad days and end up with my shirt on the floor, it usually doesn’t spiral into a worse day. I can’t imagine going back to my previously cluttered life.
